Sorry for the smell...I've been OD-ing on Ben-Gay all across the area south of the equator for the last couple of days; even if they had souls, I would still consider those mechanical bulls to be soulless, godless robotical killing machines! Anyways, in preparation for Stampede Week, I've been practicin' my riding, tossin' my lasso and watchin' reruns of HBO's Deadwood, all to better understand the subject of our sixth installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Calgary-Centre: the fightin' Centre!

Calgary-Centre is home to the most awesome pedestrian mall in the city...say it with me now, Stephen Avenue! WHOOOO! The Avenue is home to some of the biggest sites in the city, including the Calgary Eaton Centre and Telus Convention Centre, and was pre-emptively named, of course, after...what's that? They didn't actually name the street for my pending takeover, but rather for Canadian rail magnate Baron Mount George Stephen? NOOOO! STEPHEN!!!

The riding is also home to the world-famous Calgary Stampede, where every July, the Centre turns into a haven for wagon racers, rodeo clowns, and drunk revellers who seem to think a cowboy hat and bolo tie is the only dress required. The Stampede grounds are also site of the Pengrowth Saddledome, host of the Calgary Flames, which is now home to a monster, a former Spirit (go Spirit!), and my very own Albertan Black Friend!

And finally, you can find the Westin Calgary Hotel here, where the first ever Bloody Caesar was mixed in 1969. A Canadian legend, this concoction is really just a stolen version of a real American cocktail, the Bloody Mary. Those shifty Canucks simply added clams and spun it as their own...well two can play at that game, Canada! I'll be taking your Beaver Tail pastries, dumping some good ol' American gravy on top, and calling it a Steph-er Tail. Suck on that!

And which MP rules over this riding like Caesar hopped up on beaver tails? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP Lee Richardson, who has served the riding since 2004. Contact MP Richardson here to let him know you want Calgary-Centre parading into the new Colberta empire!