Citizens: the time to act is now! We must deploy all citizens of the Colbert Nation, the Canadian Nation, and all those who stand for freedom, truthiness, and the creation of a sovereign U.S. territory governed by Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. to action, and make the dream of a free Colberta a reality!

We all know Stephen only believes in the demands of the free market, so let's make our demands heard! There are many ways to declare yourself a proud Colbertan:

SEND angry TENDER, LOVING EMAILS!
- the Prime Minister / lesbian dictator of Canada, Stephen Harper, here
- the CBC-hating Premier of Alberta, Ed Stelmach, here
- the Lieutenant Governor of Alberta, Norman "The China Clipper" Kwong, here
- all 28 federal MPs for the fightin' Sunshine Province!, here
- all major Alberta opposition parties (Liberal, NDP, Alberta Party, Social Credit, Wildrose Alliance), here
- the Separation Party of Alberta (the fightin' Seceders!), here
- the Senior Advisor to Ottawa Mayor Larry O'Brien (and "Canada's Colbert"), Brent Colbert, here
- the At-Large District Rep (the fightin' At-Large!) for Montana, and Alberta neighbor, Denny Rehberg, here
- the Report's sponsor Frito-Lay, to help bring The Report to "Cool-gary" and "Chedd-monton" here

CONTACT THOSE LEFT-WING LIBERAL MEDIA HOSERS!
- all the major Alberta papers (in Calgary, Edmonton, Lethbridge, Medicine Hat, Red Deer), here
- all the major Alberta television news networks, including:
  - my Canadian parents(!), CTV (in Calgary, Edmonton, Lloydminster)
  - those government freeloaders, the CBC (in Calgary, Edmonton, Lloydminster)
  - the fightin' Aspers!, Global/CH (in Calgary, Edmonton, Lethbridge, Medicine Hat, Red Deer)
- the Report's parent company, Viacom, and Stephen's hokeying-pokeying boss, Sumner Redstone, here
- them hosers at The Colbert Report's Canadian network, The Comedy Network, here

YOU CAN DO IT, PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!
- see Albertan: visit Alberta Tourism's official site here to get to "Better Know" my soon-to-be kingdom for yourself!
- buy Albertan: whether it be beef, beer or a blowout preventer, be sure to keep it in the Albertan family!
- talk Albertan: email the Citizens For Colberta Coalition here, or join the CCC on Twitter!
- and, starting September 15, enlist as an active member of Operation: Humble Kwong-ye!

And most importantly, pass on the message. To anyone and everyone...because our goal here is more than just to poke fun at Canada's sore conservative thumb. Our goal is just. Our goal is strong. And our goal has balls. HUGE ones. Thank you...and may God bless Colberta.